Hesitating to Write about My Psoriasis

I’ve been stopping myself from sharing on this blog, because I’m afraid of being judged. That’s the danger of being honest and putting yourself out there.

I really shouldn’t care about the negativity, because that hinders me from connecting with people who might provide me with positive feedback.

I am always hoping there is a reader out there who now feels seen, because I voiced something they are going through. The same has happened for me and I’m always so delighted to find someone who seems to be reading my mind. What I write may not be palatable to everyone, but that’s ok. It’s why birds of a feather flock together.

I hesitated to talk about the fact that I have psoriasis. It’s not life threatening like cancer. It’s not contagious. But like cancer there is no cure. It manifests on the skin, but is an autoimmune condition. Basically your immune system is overreacting to a perceived injury and new skin cells are forming at too rapid a rate. In severe cases it can lead to arthritis. I would say my condition is not mild and thankfully not severe yet, but it is progressing. Also it’s mostly on parts of my body that can be covered up.

I am so utterly grateful for the people around the world in my various online cancer support groups and would love to find my tribe in those who suffer from psoriasis too.

The most famous sufferer is Kim Kardashian and her mum Kris Jenner. However when Kim covers up her psoriasis with body makeup it doesn’t help the rest of us with the stigma of the condition. Imagine what it would do for the condition if one of the most beautiful women in the world was willing to wear her rashes and scars out in the open.

They say this condition is triggered by stress. Here’s the clincher. Having psoriasis causes stress, because it’s visible and embarrassing to have. It can also be painful when the skin cracks and bleeds. So the irony is that the stress of having the psoriasis can make it worse.

The way I best deal with stress is to write about it. I find it easier to express myself in writing than speaking to someone about it. When I speak I always feel like I’m complaining and no one really wants to hear all that.

Another thing about putting my thoughts into written form – it helps me to sort out and clarify the situation.

I finally told my oncologist about it and she shares that her kid has it too. It might be linked to the fourth mRNA vaccine that I had as I googled and already saw some isolated studies confirming this. Nothing official though. But yes, I don’t want to be on a ventilator after catching covid, so we really have to weigh the risks and benefits and the risk of covid seemed worse. I’ve also been under a great deal of mental stress lately so that might have played into it. And having gone through chemo and radiation definitely plays a part in all this as no one else I know who’s had the fourth vaccine developed this condition apart from my doctor’s kid.

So here’s hoping that writing about this will lead me to a better way to manage Psoriosis and stress. Currently I am undergoing traditional Chinese herbal treatment for my scalp. Ginger is one of the main ingredients and the rest is a secret they won’t reveal. It gives me great relief for a few days, but it’s not a cure as the cells keep dividing excessively. So reminiscent of the way cancer works. My immune system really need to get it together. The next thing I might try is traditional Chinese medicine but my oncologist doesn’t want me to ingest anything as it might affect my organs like my liver. She’s ok with external alternative treatments though.

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore & recently cancer too.
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