Category Archives: Trauma

Don’t Know How to Feel About This

Posted on February 20, 2023 by bookjunkie

I’m getting closer and closer to my father’s age, but he’ll never be any older than 61. It’s weird that if I stood next to him now, to strangers, at the very most he would look like an older brother … Continue reading →

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Feel Like I Have Nothing Significant to Share Right Now

Posted on January 27, 2023 by bookjunkie

It is why I hardly write. I only write when I feel the compulsion. It can’t really be forced especially with regards to matters of the heart. Also I am now extremely self conscious about the oversharing I did shortly … Continue reading →

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Insecurity

Posted on October 7, 2022 by bookjunkie

I’m always second guessing myself and wracked with insecurity. I wonder if there was ever a time in my life when I was confident, and the answer would be hardly ever. If at all, it would be for a fleeting … Continue reading →

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Were there Tasks You Hated Doing as a Child?

Posted on September 22, 2022 by bookjunkie

I’m asking myself questions and often I go off on a tangent, but that’s my purpose. My method of jogging my memory before it all fades. For me, as I was not made to do any chores, it was mostly … Continue reading →

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What I Admired Most About My Father (My Darling Papa)

Posted on September 21, 2022 by bookjunkie

I decided to pose the same question to myself and found myself floored. The word admiration seemed so distant and didn’t quite cover it. A primary school composition answer would be “He was the most handsome and intelligent person to … Continue reading →

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Writing About Stuff that Troubles Me

Posted on September 13, 2022 by bookjunkie

I often think I need to get it all out in order to feel better, but often what I feel is self conscious and not any better. You know how some people are so self assured they don’t give a … Continue reading →

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Greatest Fears as You Age Relate to Lack of Autonomy

Posted on September 12, 2022 by bookjunkie

1. Loosing those you can’t bear to live without 2. Loosing your autonomy and thus freedom. Being controlled by someone else (worst of all a stranger who is given power over you) due to lack of finances or physical strength, … Continue reading →

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If I Had A Year Left To Live

Posted on August 30, 2022 by bookjunkie

Whatever time I had I would want to spend with the ones I love. And beyond that I would regret not writing down my life story and what I’ve learnt. All the things I’ve kept hidden which is actually not … Continue reading →

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Fascinated by Salman Rushdie revealing the best period of his life

Posted on August 27, 2022 by bookjunkie

If I could go back and relive any time in my life, I’d start in 1979. I was just finishing Midnight’s Children and my first son was about to be born. In fact, I remember telling his mother to just … Continue reading →

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Trying to be My Own Therapist & Psyche Myself Up

Posted on August 22, 2022 by bookjunkie

I want to be more in control of my life and not let my anxieties highjack my peace. I want to stop having insomnia and when I finally fall asleep, nightmares. My own perceptions of advancing age and illness are … Continue reading →

Posted in aging, Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma, When Work Sucks | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Feeling Lost today till a Stranger (not quite actually) & Kind Soul reached out

Posted on August 21, 2022 by bookjunkie

19 years ago I lost my beloved Papa and this whole week (the dates) are a reminder of my nightmares and trauma. I did things today, I would normally enjoy, but I couldn’t quite taste my food or have any … Continue reading →

Posted in aging, Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Grief, Midlife Musings, psoriasis, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

For Those Who Grieve? The Unbearable Pain Does Diminish

Posted on July 21, 2022 by bookjunkie

1. Don’t suppress your emotions. Being “strong” will damage you mentally. Get professional help like counselling early. Do everything in your own time and don’t be rushed or pressured. This is not the best time to make decisions. (I regret … Continue reading →

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Why I Always Reach For Food

Posted on July 17, 2022 by bookjunkie

Wish I didn’t succumb to this, but I do, I always do. The lure of tasty food. I eat especially when I’m upset or often when I’m bored. Always for a celebration. Food makes me so happy and it’s what … Continue reading →

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