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Category Archives: Trauma
medium.com/read-or-die/they-made-me-feel-like-a-criminal-for-being-overweight-a338cd737e5d
Posted in My Childhood, my teenhood, Trauma
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Something I Wrote on Medium. Hope you’ll read it there.
medium.com/@chelliahshanti/i-honestly-dont-know-how-i-survived-1b2ac97746f7
Please Don’t Ask Me To Be Resilient
medium.com/@chelliahshanti/please-dont-ask-me-to-be-resilient-b5e63d787d9f
Posted in Grief, Trauma
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Don’t Know How to Feel About This
I’m getting closer and closer to my father’s age, but he’ll never be any older than 61. It’s weird that if I stood next to him now, to strangers, at the very most he would look like an older brother … Continue reading
Feel Like I Have Nothing Significant to Share Right Now
It is why I hardly write. I only write when I feel the compulsion. It can’t really be forced especially with regards to matters of the heart. Also I am now extremely self conscious about the oversharing I did shortly … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma
Tagged abuse, cancer, Life, oversharing, relationships, secrets, trauma
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Insecurity
I’m always second guessing myself and wracked with insecurity. I wonder if there was ever a time in my life when I was confident, and the answer would be hardly ever. If at all, it would be for a fleeting … Continue reading
Were there Tasks You Hated Doing as a Child?
I’m asking myself questions and often I go off on a tangent, but that’s my purpose. My method of jogging my memory before it all fades. For me, as I was not made to do any chores, it was mostly … Continue reading
Posted in Culture & Society, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, Trauma
Tagged 70's, 80's, abuse, childhood, Life, math, Tamil, Teachers, trauma
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What I Admired Most About My Father (My Darling Papa)
I decided to pose the same question to myself and found myself floored. The word admiration seemed so distant and didn’t quite cover it. A primary school composition answer would be “He was the most handsome and intelligent person to … Continue reading
Posted in family, Grief, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, Trauma
Tagged family, father, gratitude, grief, love, papa
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Writing About Stuff that Troubles Me
I often think I need to get it all out in order to feel better, but often what I feel is self conscious and not any better. You know how some people are so self assured they don’t give a … Continue reading
Posted in aging, Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Grief, Trauma
Tagged CBT, self conscious, therapy, trauma, writing
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Greatest Fears as You Age Relate to Lack of Autonomy
1. Loosing those you can’t bear to live without 2. Loosing your autonomy and thus freedom. Being controlled by someone else (worst of all a stranger who is given power over you) due to lack of finances or physical strength, … Continue reading
If I Had A Year Left To Live
Whatever time I had I would want to spend with the ones I love. And beyond that I would regret not writing down my life story and what I’ve learnt. All the things I’ve kept hidden which is actually not … Continue reading
Posted in aging, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma
Tagged Food, Life, Living, love, trauma, travel, writing
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Fascinated by Salman Rushdie revealing the best period of his life
If I could go back and relive any time in my life, I’d start in 1979. I was just finishing Midnight’s Children and my first son was about to be born. In fact, I remember telling his mother to just … Continue reading
Trying to be My Own Therapist & Psyche Myself Up
I want to be more in control of my life and not let my anxieties highjack my peace. I want to stop having insomnia and when I finally fall asleep, nightmares. My own perceptions of advancing age and illness are … Continue reading
Posted in aging, Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma, When Work Sucks
Tagged aging, confidence, Life, overcoming, personal
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Feeling Lost today till a Stranger (not quite actually) & Kind Soul reached out
19 years ago I lost my beloved Papa and this whole week (the dates) are a reminder of my nightmares and trauma. I did things today, I would normally enjoy, but I couldn’t quite taste my food or have any … Continue reading
For Those Who Grieve? The Unbearable Pain Does Diminish
1. Don’t suppress your emotions. Being “strong” will damage you mentally. Get professional help like counselling early. Do everything in your own time and don’t be rushed or pressured. This is not the best time to make decisions. (I regret … Continue reading
Why I Always Reach For Food
Wish I didn’t succumb to this, but I do, I always do. The lure of tasty food. I eat especially when I’m upset or often when I’m bored. Always for a celebration. Food makes me so happy and it’s what … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living, Trauma, When Work Sucks
Tagged abuse, child abuse, childhood, fat shaming, Food, trauma
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