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Recent Posts
- When Was the First Time you Took a Flight?
- I Used To Have A Dream Job
- Something I Wrote on Medium. Hope you’ll read it there.
- Please Don’t Ask Me To Be Resilient
- Join Medium with my referral link – Shanti C K
- When I was diagnosed with cancer
- What a Trip to Siem Reap Taught Me
- Been Writing at Another Place but I’m still here too.
- My Niece Made Me So Happy Today
- Grateful for My Cousins
- Siem Reap March 2023: Pink Lotuses
- Siem Reap March 2023: Day 1 Angkor National Museum
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Tag Archives: loss
Must Read: First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung
I’ve never been so fully engaged in a book. The last one was perhaps Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood. The parts of the book touching on the fear and pain of losing a father made me cry. I can’t recall … Continue reading
My Eldest Cousin M
Been thinking a lot about my cousin M lately. To be accurate, he’s never left my mind. After he passed away in his sleep in 1995 (he was only 37 years old and it was attributed to an epileptic fit) … Continue reading
Fascinated by Salman Rushdie revealing the best period of his life
If I could go back and relive any time in my life, I’d start in 1979. I was just finishing Midnight’s Children and my first son was about to be born. In fact, I remember telling his mother to just … Continue reading
What I Wrote Yesterday Feels False
False in the sense that I’m forcing myself to sound more well and upbeat than I am. Inside I’m drowning. I never wrote about the times I have such intense fear that I feel paralysed into inertia. Whether it’s a … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Grief, Midlife Musings, psoriasis, Singapore Living
Tagged depression, grief, loss, ptsd, stigma, triggers
3 Comments
Internal Life
I wonder if everyone’s internal life is as vocal or non stop like mine. The internal voice of your consciousness. I suppose it’s this way for most introverts who need and enjoy introspective time to unwind. It’s why I write. … Continue reading
Posted in Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Grief, When Work Sucks
Tagged friendship, grief, introvert, Life, loss, memories, papa, Time, writing
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#6. Letter to my Papa
I wish I didn’t feel this, but I do. I feel like I’m not talking to you, but to myself. It’s the same feeling I got when I was desperately pleading for God to save you and that I would … Continue reading
#5. Letter to my Papa
Papa, so often in the past 19 years, there have been world events and even just local events that I want to talk to you about. Just so much of life is happening and it’s not fair that you’re missing … Continue reading
Posted in Grief, Midlife Musings
Tagged dad, father, grief, loss, love, papa, personal
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#3. Letter to my Papa
I feel lonely without you. I thought the vacuum wouldn’t remain for this long, but it has for almost 19 years now. Me missing you is a testament to what a good father you were. I didn’t realise it then, … Continue reading
#2. Letter to my Papa
It’s strange that when you were around, this tone that I’m using in these letters, would sound unnatural and extremely awkward. I used to talk to you in such an abrupt manner filled with such cockiness. I’m not a confident … Continue reading
#1. Letter to my Papa
Papa, the last time I communicated with you was through text. And back then texting was very expensive and I found out you spent S$92 on texts from overseas. Don’t know if it’s accurate, but somehow that number is stuck … Continue reading
Posted in Grief
Tagged coping, grief, letters to my father, loss, love, papa, personal, thoughts
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23rd March 2015
Singaporeans won’t forget the day we lost a giant – an immeasurably brilliant leader. Can’t think of Singapore without thinking of Lee Kuan Yew. Even if we didn’t agree with the methods we can’t help, but admire what he has … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged death, grief, Lee Kuan Yew, loss, personal, respect, Singapore, thoughts
1 Comment
Movies About Hope & Faith: Jeff Who Lives at Home & Salmon Fishing in The Yemen
Watched two movies recently. Jeff Who Lives at Home and Salmon Fishing in The Yemen. Both tell very different stories, but I found a similar theme of hope and faith. The slacker movie appealed to me a lot more. I … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Movies
Tagged death, destiny, faith, father, grief, hope, Jeff Who Lives at Home, loss, Movie, movies, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen, sweet, touching
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Beautiful Articulate Bobbi Kristina in an interview with Oprah
I felt so moved by this interview that Oprah had with Bobbi Kristina about the loss of her mum Whitney Houston. It’s pretty hard to watch, but I am blown away by how articulate and strong she is. Lights flickering, … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged Bobbi Kristina, death, grief, interview, Lights, loss, Oprah, Science, signs, strong, Video, Whitney Houston
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My Grief, Resentment & Desire for Happiness
Update 10/10/11: I know this was a hard one to respond to, but I really appreciate the notes you’ve left and just the good energy you always send my way. Some days I’m down and some days I’m up and … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Movies, Music
Tagged afterlife, anger, anxiety, beloved, Bullies, dad, death, deja vu, depression, despair, eternity, faith, family, father, feelings, Frank Sinatra, grief, grieving, happiness, loss, love, Michael Buble, Movie, parent, parents, personal, positive energy, rage, resentment, rituals, sadness, spirituality, That's Life, Traditional, Tree of Life
20 Comments
Co-Founder of Apple Steve Woz Talks about his Friend Steve Jobs
Sorry for the millions of posts I am writing about Steve Jobs but I think I am not alone in my obsession and admiration. I have been having an insatiable appetite to find out all about Steve and it just … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged Apple, friend, grief, loss, PC, personal, Steve Jobs, Steve Woz, Steve Wozniak, switch, touching, tribute, Video
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Utterly Shocked & Incredibly Saddened by the Death of Steve Jobs
We all knew Steve Jobs was ill, but to still hear it, the news that the man behind Apple is no more, is still shocking. I think me and the rest of the world have been in denial since we … Continue reading
Posted in Culture & Society
Tagged Apple, death, genious, loss, passing, Steve Jobs, Video, young
5 Comments
Grief & Healing: Fix You by Coldplay
A song that spoke to me when I was pining for my dad, was ‘Fix You’. It was no surprise to learn that Chris Martin wrote the song for his wife after she was shattered by her father’s death. It … Continue reading
Movie Review: The Company Men
Anyone who has been through a retrenchment or had the heartache of searching for a job during a recession, will appreciate that this movie was made. Everyone else should watch it just so that you can have empathy, because unless … Continue reading
Posted in Movies, When Work Sucks
Tagged Ben Affleck, cruel, crushing, culture, fired, job, Life, Living, loss, office, personal, rat race, retrenchment, soul, The Company Men, Video, Work Sucks
1 Comment
A Father’s Tribute to His Daughter Zoe
The father happens to be the founder of Ted TV, Chris Anderson, and this is the moving tribute in pictures to his firstborn Zoe who passed away at just 24. I just feel compelled to share the link here. In … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings
Tagged Chris Anderson, daughter, death, father, grief, Life, loss, pictures, sorrow, Ted TV, Zoe
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Doesn’t Feel like Christmas
Sigh….no singer’s voice today can match the beauty of Karen’s Carpenter’s alto tone…. It stopped feeling like truly Christmas when I lost my father, so this song reminds me of him. I am not feeling particularly depressed, because B cheered … Continue reading
Posted in Singapore Living
Tagged beautiful, childhood, Christmas, dad, father, Glee, grief, Karen Carpenter, Life, Living, loss, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas Darling, papa, personal, Santa, Santa Claus, song, Video
6 Comments
My Definition of Family
Since I need to inject some new life into my blog, I thought I should start sharing information about the little trips I have taken. I will start, in my next post, with my last trip which was taken … Continue reading
