Tag Archives: loss

My Eldest Cousin M

Been thinking a lot about my cousin M lately. To be accurate, he’s never left my mind. After he passed away in his sleep in 1995 (he was only 37 years old and it was attributed to an epileptic fit) … Continue reading

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Fascinated by Salman Rushdie revealing the best period of his life

If I could go back and relive any time in my life, I’d start in 1979. I was just finishing Midnight’s Children and my first son was about to be born. In fact, I remember telling his mother to just … Continue reading

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What I Wrote Yesterday Feels False

False in the sense that I’m forcing myself to sound more well and upbeat than I am. Inside I’m drowning. I never wrote about the times I have such intense fear that I feel paralysed into inertia. Whether it’s a … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Grief, Midlife Musings, psoriasis, Singapore Living | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Internal Life

I wonder if everyone’s internal life is as vocal or non stop like mine. The internal voice of your consciousness. I suppose it’s this way for most introverts who need and enjoy introspective time to unwind. It’s why I write. … Continue reading

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#6. Letter to my Papa

I wish I didn’t feel this, but I do. I feel like I’m not talking to you, but to myself. It’s the same feeling I got when I was desperately pleading for God to save you and that I would … Continue reading

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#5. Letter to my Papa

Papa, so often in the past 19 years, there have been world events and even just local events that I want to talk to you about. Just so much of life is happening and it’s not fair that you’re missing … Continue reading

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#3. Letter to my Papa

I feel lonely without you. I thought the vacuum wouldn’t remain for this long, but it has for almost 19 years now. Me missing you is a testament to what a good father you were. I didn’t realise it then, … Continue reading

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#2. Letter to my Papa

It’s strange that when you were around, this tone that I’m using in these letters, would sound unnatural and extremely awkward. I used to talk to you in such an abrupt manner filled with such cockiness. I’m not a confident … Continue reading

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#1. Letter to my Papa

Papa, the last time I communicated with you was through text. And back then texting was very expensive and I found out you spent S$92 on texts from overseas. Don’t know if it’s accurate, but somehow that number is stuck … Continue reading

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23rd March 2015

Singaporeans won’t forget the day we lost a giant – an immeasurably brilliant leader. Can’t think of Singapore without thinking of Lee Kuan Yew. Even if we didn’t agree with the methods we can’t help, but admire what he has … Continue reading

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Movies About Hope & Faith: Jeff Who Lives at Home & Salmon Fishing in The Yemen

Watched two movies recently. Jeff Who Lives at Home and Salmon Fishing in The Yemen. Both tell very different stories, but I found a similar theme of hope and faith. The slacker movie appealed to me a lot more. I … Continue reading

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Beautiful Articulate Bobbi Kristina in an interview with Oprah

I felt so moved by this interview that Oprah had with Bobbi Kristina about the loss of her mum Whitney Houston.  It’s pretty hard to watch, but I am blown away by how articulate and strong she is. Lights flickering, … Continue reading

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My Grief, Resentment & Desire for Happiness

Update 10/10/11: I know this was a hard one to respond to, but I really appreciate the notes you’ve left and just the good energy you always send my way. Some days I’m down and some days I’m up and … Continue reading

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Co-Founder of Apple Steve Woz Talks about his Friend Steve Jobs

Sorry for the millions of posts I am writing about Steve Jobs but I think I am not alone in my obsession and admiration. I have been having an insatiable appetite to find out all about Steve and it just … Continue reading

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Utterly Shocked & Incredibly Saddened by the Death of Steve Jobs

We all knew Steve Jobs was ill, but to still hear it, the news that the man behind Apple is no more, is still shocking. I think me and the rest of the world have been in denial since we … Continue reading

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Grief & Healing: Fix You by Coldplay

A song that spoke to me when I was pining for my dad, was ‘Fix You’.  It was no surprise to learn that Chris Martin wrote the song for his wife after she was shattered by her father’s death. It … Continue reading

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Movie Review: The Company Men

Anyone who has been through a retrenchment or had the heartache of searching for a job during a recession, will appreciate that this movie was made. Everyone else should watch it just so that you can have empathy, because unless … Continue reading

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A Father’s Tribute to His Daughter Zoe

The father happens to be the founder of Ted TV, Chris Anderson, and this is the moving tribute in pictures to his firstborn Zoe who passed away at just 24. I just feel compelled to share the link here. In … Continue reading

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Doesn’t Feel like Christmas

Sigh….no singer’s voice today can match the beauty of Karen’s Carpenter’s alto tone…. It stopped feeling like truly Christmas when I lost my father, so this song reminds me of him. I am not feeling particularly depressed, because B cheered … Continue reading

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10 Things You May Not Know About Panic Attacks

When I first heard about panic attacks triggered by unusual causes I was one of the guilty ones who immediately thought ‘strange‘. I now can relate to why Billy Bob Thorton might be afraid of antiques and Nicole Kidman of … Continue reading

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My Definition of Family

Since I need to inject some new life into my blog, I thought I should start sharing information about the little trips I have taken.   I will start, in my next post, with my last trip which was taken … Continue reading

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