Might be easier to live day by day or moment by moment rather than to think about the future. And by think I mean worry, which is something I can get an Olympic medal for.
During this time you start to question your purpose in life. And there seems to be so much to do and very little time.
Another twist is that there’s so much I want to do, but I’m afraid to exert myself too much. I’m not sure how much I can do. There’s an uncertainty. Never felt this kind of self imposed prohibition before. I really should let go of that fear and try to do a little more each time? After all my surgical wounds have healed by now? That was what was holding me back before and leading to other problems like pain, infections and hospitalisation. Compounded by the chemotherapy.
My partner tells me not to worry and just focus on getting through the chemo and radiation. That’s all I have to focus on. After that’s over I can think about getting into the peak of health, but very slowly. That sounds like a good plan. Something to look forward to.
My oncologist keeps telling me to have a short getaway at Sentosa during a brief chemo break. Maybe that might be a good getaway when you can’t travel. A staycation including massages. At the moment though, after all those hospitalisation stays, home is truly the best.