My father instilled in me a love for travel and some of my best memories are of car rides to Malaysia with him in the seventies. After I lost him suddenly, I was plagued with situational claustrophobia and panic attacks. I almost couldn’t see myself surviving a plane journey, so for the first time, I went to see a therapist and she helped me with cognitive behavioural therapy. She told me I suffer from PTSD. l stopped after a few sessions because I felt guilty about how expensive it was. It worked though and I am so glad I made the trip to Finland and Stockholm.
Now with awful COVID though I haven’t travelled since January 2019. My last trip was to Tasmania with my mum and sis. Covid restrictions have made travel a huge nightmare but the deep longing for it never goes away. Singapore is just too small and it feels utterly claustrophobic at times. It’s also made it not affordable (due to various factors) which is truly depressing.
They say you can manifest what you desire so I’m putting this out there. I hope I get to travel again and blog about it as I have in the past. Just a one week trip would make me so happy. Even better if the climate is cooler and there is more nature and fewer crowds.
This time though, if I ever get the chance, I will record the whole journey even more diligently so that I can relive it. In past recordings i just wish i has included more detail while it was fresh in my mind. In the future, I will take notes as I go, like how my favourite travel writer, Paul Theroux constantly scribbles in his notebooks on trains and buses. It’s one of the things I love about blogging. It’s the best travel journal and I can look back at what I’ve learnt and how it’s transformed me.
A short trip also makes me more appreciative of what I have at home in Singapore. I always come back with a fresh perspective and a greater love for home.
But yes it’s just been too long. Human beings are nomadic. I think it’s built into our DNA. So dear Universe, I hope it happens soon. Because this stagnancy? Sometimes, I feel dead inside.