Do You Have a Hard Time Saying No?

This is not a motivational post that offers solutions. I can’t offer any solutions as I have a hard time saying no myself. The worse thing ever is a guilt trip. I often wish guilt trips wouldn’t work so easily on me.

Even without the guilt trip I just tend to feel guilty and often wonder what I did wrong. I’m just naturally inclined this way to take blame for everything and it kinda sucks. Things keep playing on my mind non stop. I’m sure if you’re like me, this all sounds familiar. I know many people who are and it’s easier for me to tell them not to worry or feel guilty than to do it myself.

I wish I could be totally thick skin and not let comments get to me, but they do. But with age I get better. Well, just a little bit compared to my skittish twenty something self that never ever said no and got bullied a lot. Now I wonder how I could have been that dumb. With age it dawns on you that you don’t have all the time in the world and that time is very limited. You don’t want to waste it spending time with people who don’t matter much to you or whom you hardly have any connection with. I have more of a connection with some readers than acquaintances in my real life.

Even with this blog, I don’t want it to become inauthentic and commercialized, but I feel bad saying no to requests so it’s better for me that I don’t entertain any requests at all even though some appeals seem enticing. It’s easier that way.

But there are things that I genuinely love doing. Like helping to babysit my nieces and writing for the parenting magazine, White as Milk. When I am able, these activities give me such joy.

Reminds me of when I was working in a happy place and the work itself was tremendously fulfilling. Didn’t pay that much but I looked forward to work every day and even dreaded weekends as it would be more boring compared to work. It helped that I had the sweetest colleagues and bosses.

Another happy memory for me is play time with my friend’s children. Even though they are much bigger now and don’t quite remember, I will always cherish sharing a bit of their joyful world when they were toddlers. In a way they taught me something too. For instance painting with a three year old taught me how children are so free with their creativity. It definitely gives you a burst of energy.

I’ve always wanted to write a book for children. But I just don’t know how to begin. I guess that could be my next project.

Just felt like writing one of my rambling posts as I was fed up with too many of my food posts. I’m supposed to be eating healthy, and I was tempting myself with all the food blogging. Also I feel like such a glutton. But the weekend is coming and I’ll soon to back to my gorging.

Ok, bye for now.

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore & recently cancer too.
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8 Responses to Do You Have a Hard Time Saying No?

  1. used to have a hard time saying no but once I’ve said it a few times, then it gets better. I rejected many food tastings lately because I want an objective and honest voice and I want to be different from other food blogs. It was difficult to say no to food tastings at first because of the fear of “losing out.” Kiasu-ism. But the more I reject tastings, the more I like my blog. Lately, I’m very selective of which food tastings I go and I’m beginning to think that my blog is awesome again!

  2. germanglobetrotter says:

    same for moi!!! And i hate it when others succeed in putting me on a guilt-trip (LOL! the trick is to blame them right back since we all know that NO ONE but ourselves can make us feel how we feel…) Now a quote of wisdom: “You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” – David Foster Wallace

    Et voila! Say NO!!!! and remember the wise words of Uncle Wallace! 🙂

  3. Mallrats says:

    I’ve just moved to Singapore and wanted to say how much I appreciate the ‘authentic-ness’ of your blog. Just keep doing what you like, and keep saying “no”!

    Food blogs that review the latest openings are a dime a dozen. And it’s irksome when bloggers review places when the establishment has paid for their meals – even if this is fully disclosed. It just feels so inherently biased.

    I’ve found your blog to be a breath of fresh air and really helpful in giving me insight into every day Singaporean life. Thank you!

    PS Any advice on where can I get good pineapple tart for Chinese New Near? I’ve never tried it before.

    • bookjunkie says:

      AWw…thanks a million. So happy you like it 🙂

      For me the best pineapple tarts I’ve had are the home made ones. But of the store bought ones the one by the brand Glory is the best in my opinion. Saw it recently at NTUC and Cold Storage Supermarkets. It like the ones where the biscuit is so buttery it melts in your mouth. I also like it when they use freshly made jam from grated pineapple and not the factory produced ones.

      Will be on the lookout for pineapple tarts too. You could try the Takashimaya CNY fair at the basement level and have a go at the samples before you buy.

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