This is not a motivational post that offers solutions. I can’t offer any solutions as I have a hard time saying no myself. The worse thing ever is a guilt trip. I often wish guilt trips wouldn’t work so easily on me.
Even without the guilt trip I just tend to feel guilty and often wonder what I did wrong. I’m just naturally inclined this way to take blame for everything and it kinda sucks. Things keep playing on my mind non stop. I’m sure if you’re like me, this all sounds familiar. I know many people who are and it’s easier for me to tell them not to worry or feel guilty than to do it myself.
I wish I could be totally thick skin and not let comments get to me, but they do. But with age I get better. Well, just a little bit compared to my skittish twenty something self that never ever said no and got bullied a lot. Now I wonder how I could have been that dumb. With age it dawns on you that you don’t have all the time in the world and that time is very limited. You don’t want to waste it spending time with people who don’t matter much to you or whom you hardly have any connection with. I have more of a connection with some readers than acquaintances in my real life.
Even with this blog, I don’t want it to become inauthentic and commercialized, but I feel bad saying no to requests so it’s better for me that I don’t entertain any requests at all even though some appeals seem enticing. It’s easier that way.
But there are things that I genuinely love doing. Like helping to babysit my nieces and writing for the parenting magazine, White as Milk. When I am able, these activities give me such joy.
Reminds me of when I was working in a happy place and the work itself was tremendously fulfilling. Didn’t pay that much but I looked forward to work every day and even dreaded weekends as it would be more boring compared to work. It helped that I had the sweetest colleagues and bosses.
Another happy memory for me is play time with my friend’s children. Even though they are much bigger now and don’t quite remember, I will always cherish sharing a bit of their joyful world when they were toddlers. In a way they taught me something too. For instance painting with a three year old taught me how children are so free with their creativity. It definitely gives you a burst of energy.
I’ve always wanted to write a book for children. But I just don’t know how to begin. I guess that could be my next project.
Just felt like writing one of my rambling posts as I was fed up with too many of my food posts. I’m supposed to be eating healthy, and I was tempting myself with all the food blogging. Also I feel like such a glutton. But the weekend is coming and I’ll soon to back to my gorging.
Ok, bye for now.