Feel Like I Have Nothing Significant to Share Right Now

It is why I hardly write.

I only write when I feel the compulsion. It can’t really be forced especially with regards to matters of the heart.

Also I am now extremely self conscious about the oversharing I did shortly after the cancer diagnosis back in 2016. You see, I truly thought I wouldn’t make it from the grave looks on the faces surrounding me (including all the doctors.) The whispering around me and such.

I felt compelled to share certain things that anyone naturally would, when faced with the possibility that the end might be near.

I feel now like I dodged a bullet, been inexplicably rewarded with a miracle (I don’t deserve) and I’m embarrassed that I divulged certain private things.

The embarrassment stems from the fact that only some people responded. Others were naturally stunned. I don’t blame those who felt discomfort and were not certain or afraid regarding how to respond the right way, probably, but I am forever grateful for those who did. The silence made me feel horrible and ashamed (even though I should not be in the least.) Also made me wish I had not divulged said information.

Other cancer patients out there or those with a terminal illness, I’m sure you overshared as well and I just wanted to say it’s natural and you’re not alone.

And it’s not oversharing if the other party has experienced something similar and is able to relate. We just never know. And personally when someone shares something personal with me I appreciate it so much, because it means that they trust me. And that’s a huge thing in any relationship.

I’m so glad my partner always shares everything with me. Life is too short for superficial relationships where you might have known someone for years, but feel you hardly know them.

For those who trust me enough to openly share their stories, fears and their heart with me, I’m truly grateful. And if you tell me it’s a secret, rest assured that I am a vault.

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore & recently cancer too.
This entry was posted in Anxiety, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Feel Like I Have Nothing Significant to Share Right Now

  1. Barb Holmes says:

    In the WordPress Reader there’s no way to leave a comment on your posts. One has to keep clicking through to find their way to your main site to leave a comment, so that might be one reason comments were few. I feel you when we share at a vulnerable level and there’s silence, but it may simply be related to this technical glitch.

    If the oversharing bothers you, go back and edit those posts, or take them down. I’ve been known to do that and it will ease that feeling of embarrassment. You are a walking miracle and I enjoy reading what you write! You will find your way, but there’s a huge amount of freedom when we stop counting likes and comments.

    • bookjunkie says:

      Thank you so much for letting me know Barb. Think I might need to get some professional help to resolve this issue. Or perhaps it’s because my blog is hosted on Go Daddy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.