I can’t sleep. Intense fear and anxiety. God please help me. Please let everything be ok. Please let it all go back to normal. I’m so worried. I’m afraid to fall asleep, because I’m afraid to wake up and face it all.
The above is how desperate I feel when I have extreme anxiety.
I decided to record the above feelings that I get very often. Everything worked out in the end and I suffered unnecessarily. My mind tends to always think of worst case scenarios as a protective mechanism, but ironically it just makes me suffer for a longer period.
By writing down my dark thoughts, I hope to ease myself of them. Self therapy if you will. I could keep these posts private, but publishing them somehow works better. Accountability and all that. Also to connect with kindred spirits. There are so many out there as I have found solace in their honest writing and willingness to be vulnerable.
If my blog is too dark, and is giving you negative feelings, please don’t read it. I implore you. But if it does help to make you feel less inadequate or isolated, I’m so glad it did.
I know I used to write about happiness, but it feels false right this moment and I need to be authentic. For myself.