Tag Archives: fear

Been Almost 7 Years Since that Cancer Diagnosis in 2016

My oncologist is so pleased every time I get a good tumour marker reading. She always tells me well done, although I honestly feel like I’ve done nothing. I just lay there. Everyone else did everything. Well I did try … Continue reading

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Never Been on the Singapore Flyer

Somehow when something is so near and available you feel no urgency to use it. Also I have situational claustrophobia, so when this attraction first emerged I had fear let alone a desire to try it. There were incidents of … Continue reading

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Greatest Fears as You Age Relate to Lack of Autonomy

1. Loosing those you can’t bear to live without 2. Loosing your autonomy and thus freedom. Being controlled by someone else (worst of all a stranger who is given power over you) due to lack of finances or physical strength, … Continue reading

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Thought Process – Extreme Anxiety

I can’t sleep. Intense fear and anxiety. God please help me. Please let everything be ok. Please let it all go back to normal. I’m so worried. I’m afraid to fall asleep, because I’m afraid to wake up and face … Continue reading

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Trying to Help Myself

I tend to build up negative scenarios in my head that never materialise in real life. Often they have to do with failure and rejection. Often these scenes appear in my nightmares when I try « not to think » … Continue reading

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Grief

I needed to find some distance, before I wrote this post. A lot of it is just too painful, locked away somewhere in my sub-conscience, revealed in my recurring dreams. I understand now that grief is the intense longing. No, … Continue reading

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Invisible Chains. I Want to Break Them.

I have these constant feelings of constriction and I just need and want to be free. Free to realise the dreams and vision I always had till I stopped them in their tracks because there came a point when if … Continue reading

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Almost Choked on a Pill the Other Day

Often I read a blog post and I can absolutely relate. I totally understand Rene’s fear of swallowing pills. I hate swallowing pills too. It’s why I never take pills that are good for you like those fish oil tablets that … Continue reading

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Illuminating Near Death Experience

I am so thankful that my aunt shared this video with me. It just spoke to me as I am constantly living in fear and worry. While watching this, that feeling abated for a while. I really need to explore … Continue reading

Posted in Health & Wellness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Paralysed by Fear

In my head I know all the right steps to take, but I am paralysed by fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough. I know I shouldn’t care because what could be the worse … Continue reading

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The Agony of Visiting the Dentist

I’ve been hesitating seeing the dentist for the longest time. It’s not that I’m afraid of the dental check-up but more being confined in the chair due to my claustrophobic tendencies. In the end I was ok. I talked myself … Continue reading

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Hollow

I don’t even hope for happiness. All I hope for is peace of mind and no more of this zero self esteem. It has plummeted so low and I feel like a total failure. I just have to keep writing … Continue reading

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Hermit Tendencies

I am increasingly becoming a social recluse. I often wish I could make myself disappear to avoid painful interactions. My old social care-free self seems like a lifetime ago. And perhaps I was never really that social, but just going … Continue reading

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Oprah Talks about Panic Attacks

This is a very old clip, but I never watched this episode before, and it’s so relevant to me as I have been suffering from panic attacks and the worse thing for me is other people seeing me in that … Continue reading

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I Wish Singapore Hospitals Would Get Open MRI Machines for Claustrophobic Patients

I didn’t even know this option was available till I searched. Even more about this new technology here. I am writing this post as I myself have severe claustrophobia, and someone close to me has to go through an MRI … Continue reading

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David Walliams & Quentin Blake: The Boy in the Dress

The Boy in the Dress is a passionate celebration of individuality as this review in the Telegraph reveals. “The theme of the book is that we should all celebrate our differences,” says Walliams, who reckons he wrote 10 different drafts … Continue reading

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Every Sunday

Every Sunday I tell myself that the next week will be different. I will start afresh on Monday. EVERY SUNDAY. Seriously. I feel like I am stuck in limbo and not moving forward. I have been stuck in limbo for … Continue reading

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The Amy Chua Tiger Mum Interview

I must admit I am as repulsed by Amy Chua’s methods as Kirsten was. I am totally against fear inspired bullying methods whether at home, at the workplace, or by government. The end does not justify the means. You can … Continue reading

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Purple Tutu and Owl Bag

Jessica Alba is one of the most beautiful actresses around and her little 2 year old daughter Honor Marie is just too cute. Here’s a photo from Celebrity Baby Scoop. I know another little girl who’s 5 and who would … Continue reading

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Today I Watched a Movie Alone For the First Time

Well technically it was the second time, but it felt like a first to me. The first time was in 1999 and the movie was ‘Cruel Intentions’ and I was actually just killing time while waiting for a friend. I … Continue reading

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My Confession: I Should Not be Ashamed of This, But I Am

I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to put this out there, but ok here goes – I am unemployed. I am jobless and very ashamed, guilt ridden, and embarrassed about it. The thing is, I wasn’t retrenched, … Continue reading

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10 Things You May Not Know About Panic Attacks

When I first heard about panic attacks triggered by unusual causes I was one of the guilty ones who immediately thought ‘strange‘. I now can relate to why Billy Bob Thorton might be afraid of antiques and Nicole Kidman of … Continue reading

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