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Recent Posts
- My First Experience with Snow
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- I Just Watched the Wham! Documentary
- I Worry I’ll Run Out of Stories
- When Was the First Time you Took a Flight?
- I Used To Have A Dream Job
- Something I Wrote on Medium. Hope you’ll read it there.
- Please Don’t Ask Me To Be Resilient
- Join Medium with my referral link – Shanti C K
- When I was diagnosed with cancer
- What a Trip to Siem Reap Taught Me
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Tag Archives: anxiety
Something I Wrote on Medium. Hope you’ll read it there.
medium.com/@chelliahshanti/i-honestly-dont-know-how-i-survived-1b2ac97746f7
I’m Concerned About Injuries
I wish I could push myself to the extreme the way I did without worry in my twenties. That’s one of the hardest parts about aging. I used to walk long distances and swim countless laps in the University pool. … Continue reading
Posted in aging, Cancer, Health & Wellness, Midlife Musings
Tagged aging, anxiety, cancer, exercise, weak knees
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Psoriosis Update: December 2022
Blood under my nails from half consciously peeling at my psoriosis plagued skin all night. Mostly my scalp and to my horror I feel a bald spot now. I’m doing this to myself and against my will. My only goal … Continue reading
Thankful for My Anxiety for One Reason
I never ever thought I’d actually be thankful for my anxiety. But there’s one reason. It confirms that I’m not a psychopath. If you can’t tell, I’ve been watching a lot of true crime. I’m fascinated by what would prompt … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Midlife Musings, When Work Sucks
Tagged abuse, anxiety, Bullies, empath, personal, psychopath, sexual abuse, trauma, workplace
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Been Almost 7 Years Since that Cancer Diagnosis in 2016
My oncologist is so pleased every time I get a good tumour marker reading. She always tells me well done, although I honestly feel like I’ve done nothing. I just lay there. Everyone else did everything. Well I did try … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Cancer
Tagged anxiety, cancer, CT scan, fear, humour, personal, remission, scanxiety, statistics, tumour marker
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Curious about Natural Menopause
I wonder when I would have actually had menopause if not for the surgical one at 45. My friend at 52 hasn’t reached menopause yet. And my mum thinks she had menopause in her mid fifties. Honestly I feel robbed … Continue reading
Posted in Cancer
Tagged anxiety, cancer, endometrial cancer, remission, stress, surgical menopause
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Have Not Been Writing
I don’t feel an urge to write when I feel I can’t be completely honest. It’s like – what’s the point? In my entire life I have never lied other than doing it to spare someone’s feelings. Like an insecure … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged anxiety, cancer, honesty, insecurity, Life, writing
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Greatest Fears as You Age Relate to Lack of Autonomy
1. Loosing those you can’t bear to live without 2. Loosing your autonomy and thus freedom. Being controlled by someone else (worst of all a stranger who is given power over you) due to lack of finances or physical strength, … Continue reading
On this Day: 9th September 2022
Update 17th September 2022: I so agree with how Trevor Noah articulated it on The Daily Show. Each person has a different experience with the same person and you can’t force your opinion on them. If they had a bad … Continue reading
Posted in Singapore Headlines, Singapore Living
Tagged anxiety, cancer, insurance, King Charles, news, Queen Elizabeth
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Worse Case Scenario
Many passages in Salman Rushdie’s Autobiography ‘Joseph Anton’ stood out for me, but this passage in particular. He would not live his life by the worse-case scenario. That would turn him into their prisoner. He was nobody’s prisoner. Salman Rushdie … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Books, Midlife Musings
Tagged anxiety, faith, Joseph Anton, Salman Rushdie, spirituality, worry, worse case scenario
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Always Regret Reading the Headlines in the Straits Times
All it does is to give me intense anxiety. Why is there never any good news. It’s all gloom. It’s all about money and it feels like in this country (and perhaps many others other than the Scandinavian countries) you … Continue reading
Posted in Cancer, Singapore Living
Tagged anxiety, cancer, cost, distress, immunotherapy, worry
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Oncology Checkup
My writing today will be as real as it can get. Just pure emotion. In real time. 9am: Can’t bring myself to wake up and face the day. There is a heaviness of dread. Can’t wait for the ordeal to … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Cancer
Tagged anxiety, cancer, cathaport, oncologist, personal, Port, radiologist, thoughts, tumour markers
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My Greatest Worry is that Health Insurance Terms & Premiums Keep Changing
The Insurance companies blame the doctors and even the patients, the doctors point out that insurance companies have high management and sales commission costs too. In the end the patient is the one who suffers, especially if they have a … Continue reading
Posted in aging, Anxiety, Cancer, Singapore Living
Tagged aging, anxiety, cancer, consumer rights, distress, health insurance, Life, premiums, unethical
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Was the Pre-Smart Phone & Pre-Globalisation Era Truly Superior?
I tend to wax nostalgic, wistful for the bygone era – the nineties. I’ll admit bias, as it also happened to be the most carefree, healthiest and happiest time of my life. So I automatically connect, no smartphone and connectivity, … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged anxiety, connectivity, globalisation, misunderstanding, Nostalgia, smart phones, texting, Toxic Workplace
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Thought Process – Extreme Anxiety
I can’t sleep. Intense fear and anxiety. God please help me. Please let everything be ok. Please let it all go back to normal. I’m so worried. I’m afraid to fall asleep, because I’m afraid to wake up and face … Continue reading
Thoughts about Procrastination, Anxiety & Punctuality
Someone wise whom I spoke to recently, told me that she resolves her anxiety by doing something. Often she does something physical like go for a walk. This is so true. I find that when I actually do something, I’ve … Continue reading
Posted in Blogging & Writing, Midlife Musings
Tagged anxiety, Life, Living, procrastination, punctuality, thoughts, values
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Anxiety: Why Am I Wired This Way?
My brain has been wired by trauma to always think of the worse possible outcome, so that I can be prepared. I’m constantly in fight or flight mode. It’s a terrible state to be in and I wish I wasn’t … Continue reading
Constant Feeling of Futility & the Perfectionist Tendency
I’m trying to convince myself that it’s better to get something done than nothing at all. I have this perfectionist all or nothing tendency. Even if, in my eyes it falls short of my goal for the day I shouldn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Blogging & Writing, Midlife Musings
Tagged 50 something, Aging. midlife, anxiety, blogging, fifty something, Life, Living, morning routine, personal, ptsd, thoughts
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Feeling Extreme Anxiety & Worthlessness
Been feeling especially insecure lately. Exceptionally down emotionally. Don’t feel like a worthy human being. Or at least in this world that values superficial things and status. This world where bullies thrive and aggression is rewarded. I just want peace … Continue reading
Been Stuck, & About Those Library Books I Need to Return Pronto
The words haven’t been stuck but I’ve been reluctant to share what’s on my mind as it all seems just too self-indulgent or worried my private thoughts may be misconstrued. Now and then I do get depressed and anxious over … Continue reading
Posted in Blogging & Writing, Midlife Musings
Tagged anxiety, blogging, books, library, personal, research, stuck, thoughts, travel, writing
4 Comments
Happiness Gift that Banishes Negativity for a While
I need an off switch for my mind. Here I am, awake at 4am and unable to go back to sleep due to worry. What better to do than to compose a blog post. Haven’t been updating the blog lately … Continue reading
Posted in Midlife Musings, Singapore Living
Tagged anxiety, babies, children, happiness, joy, kids, Life, worry
2 Comments
