Tag Archives: trauma

Something I Wrote on Medium. Hope you’ll read it there.


Posted in Anxiety, My Childhood, Trauma | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Feel Like I Have Nothing Significant to Share Right Now

It is why I hardly write. I only write when I feel the compulsion. It can’t really be forced especially with regards to matters of the heart. Also I am now extremely self conscious about the oversharing I did shortly … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thankful for My Anxiety for One Reason

I never ever thought I’d actually be thankful for my anxiety. But there’s one reason. It confirms that I’m not a psychopath. If you can’t tell, I’ve been watching a lot of true crime. I’m fascinated by what would prompt … Continue reading

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Were there Tasks You Hated Doing as a Child?

I’m asking myself questions and often I go off on a tangent, but that’s my purpose. My method of jogging my memory before it all fades. For me, as I was not made to do any chores, it was mostly … Continue reading

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Writing About Stuff that Troubles Me

I often think I need to get it all out in order to feel better, but often what I feel is self conscious and not any better. You know how some people are so self assured they don’t give a … Continue reading

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If I Had A Year Left To Live

Whatever time I had I would want to spend with the ones I love. And beyond that I would regret not writing down my life story and what I’ve learnt. All the things I’ve kept hidden which is actually not … Continue reading

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For Those Who Grieve? The Unbearable Pain Does Diminish

1. Don’t suppress your emotions. Being “strong” will damage you mentally. Get professional help like counselling early. Do everything in your own time and don’t be rushed or pressured. This is not the best time to make decisions. (I regret … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Trauma | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Why I Always Reach For Food

Wish I didn’t succumb to this, but I do, I always do. The lure of tasty food. I eat especially when I’m upset or often when I’m bored. Always for a celebration. Food makes me so happy and it’s what … Continue reading

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#6. Letter to my Papa

I wish I didn’t feel this, but I do. I feel like I’m not talking to you, but to myself. It’s the same feeling I got when I was desperately pleading for God to save you and that I would … Continue reading

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Anxiety: Why Am I Wired This Way?

My brain has been wired by trauma to always think of the worse possible outcome, so that I can be prepared. I’m constantly in fight or flight mode. It’s a terrible state to be in and I wish I wasn’t … Continue reading

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Feeling Extreme Anxiety & Worthlessness

Been feeling especially insecure lately. Exceptionally down emotionally. Don’t feel like a worthy human being. Or at least in this world that values superficial things and status. This world where bullies thrive and aggression is rewarded. I just want peace … Continue reading

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The Panic Attacks Are Back

I have nothing against Ryan Reynolds, but Buried is one movie I can never watch.  I feel just as confined, trapped and anxious in much larger spaces than the underground tomb in which Ryan’s character is buried.  Especially when one … Continue reading

Posted in Midlife Musings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments