19 years ago I lost my beloved Papa and this whole week (the dates) are a reminder of my nightmares and trauma. I did things today, I would normally enjoy, but I couldn’t quite taste my food or have any real pleasure and the whole day just felt hollow. (Also felt like I was betraying my dad, by not honouring him in some way. Although my best way is here.)
And then a miracle. A kind sweet soul and brilliant writer whom I admire for her eloquence and honesty, reached out – Janet. Her post made me tear. It was like a healing balm. I feel so undeserving of her kind words, but am still super touched and grateful.
I’m in shock. Someone out there actually likes me and that means tons, when I think everyone dislikes, but just tolerate me. Mainly because I overshare (I actually yearn to share even more of my truth than I do right now), am so pessimistic and sound like a hypochondriac all the time (my anxious overthinking mind makes me think that way even though it may not be true).
You see, Janet has had an incredibly hard life but she is just a generous soul. I don’t think I could have survived what she did. Cancer is nothing in comparison. Read her blog and you’ll know what I mean. Her survival alone is a bravery.
Thank you Janet. I would have definitely shared your post with my Papa and he would have been happy for me too.
Honestly can’t thank you enough, for making me feel so seen, and so heard, and so comforted. Almost feels spiritual. Like the universe is speaking to me through you. On this day especially.