If I Had A Year Left To Live

Whatever time I had I would want to spend with the ones I love. And beyond that I would regret not writing down my life story and what I’ve learnt. All the things I’ve kept hidden which is actually not that much as I’m quite the open book and I wear my emotions on full display.

I hesitate to publish my failures, because it’s like reliving the trauma, but since I have nothing left to loose, I now will. I want someone else to benefit from my experiences and avoid the trauma and just basically bullies and toxic people.

My dream is to be published so since I now have a reason I’ll approach publishers and if no one’s interested I’ll self publish.

I would desire to travel, but my heart would ache to be apart from those I love, knowing how little time I have left. And travel would be only to new, cold places with pure air and the beauty of nature.

I would then be able to stop hoarding and truly declutter. I’m not a regular hoarder as I keep everything in pristine condition, especially my books. Not just any book, but only the best writers – basically English Literature, as that’s always been the subject closest to my heart as a school kid. These days I mostly listen to free audio books from the library, but nothing compares to the traditional printed word. Books may become collector’s items one day. Even paperbacks.

I’ll then truly discover what among my stuff has value for others although I’m aware that everyone has very limited living space and loads of sentimental stuff of their own.

I would set up a private blog just for family, locked with a password, where I would share our priceless memories, if they are ok with it and desire it as well.

I would indulge in my favourite food. Finally. Since I’m expiring anyway. One thing that comes to mind is something very simple – butter and jam toast dunked in Kopi. Something that I’ve had since age 5 so it brings me nostalgic comfort. But I wouldn’t eat to the point of discomfort. I’d still want to be fit enough to do nature walks if I do get the chance. Forests, mountains and beaches call out to me.

One year seems like very little time. Very, very little time.

What would you do if you had a year left?

About bookjunkie

Blogging about life in Singapore & recently cancer too.
This entry was posted in aging, Blogging & Writing, Cancer, Midlife Musings, Trauma and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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